Lagos, on a regular day, is already dramatic with very interesting characters, but there’s something in the air when December hits that seems to put everything in overdrive. From dangerous spending habits to way too much Oblee in the club. Here are 10 types of Lagosians you’ll see this December:
The IJGB
The “I Just Got Back” crowd is the usual owner of Detty December. They’ll move in convoys, spend 40k on a haircut, and call it cheap. They traveled to Lagos for just one thing, oblee. And the “We Just Dey Here” people suffer the inflation that comes with it.
The Assistant IJGB
They’re not IJGB, but they’re permanently attached to one. Translators and tour guides—they become everything a tourist needs in a city like Lagos. They’ll most likely have the best December this year, since they won’t have to fund any of the expenses.
The Village Visitors
Nothing is more important to them than family time. Going back to the village is the crowning moment of the year. You’ll see them constantly sending snaps about how calm and peaceful everything is, for like 3 days. Then the Lagosian in them starts getting irritated by the same peace—you can’t take Lagos out of a Lagosian.
The Party Animal
Anywhere there’s a party, you’ll find them there. You’ll be recovering from a long night at 4:00 am and hear them say, “So where to next?” They work hard all year and treat December like therapy, and they’ve been taking sessions since 2015. January will sort itself out; for now, Oblee and Dorime are the only two things they want to hear.
The Workaholics
“All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” These guys clearly didn’t get the memo. They’re taking every job and opportunity that they find, and job owners want to cash out on IJGB spending habits. They also clearly can’t catch a break and probably have a deadline due on the 25th.
The Twitter Warrior
While everyone is out and about in Detty December. Some are confined to their houses, living through social media gists and story updates. They’re the ones dragging outfits they can’t afford and are quick to criticize events they did not attend.
The December Romantic
They’re always in situationships that never see the new year; either they fall in love with an IJGB or their romantic interest will JAPA by January. At least they got to watch the Cavemen in a tight embrace with somebody; better luck next year?
The SoftLife Ambassador
They’ll swear Detty December is overrated and spare no expense in reminding you how much the “stress” isn’t worth it. Their December is filled with spa dates, beach getaways, and cooking holiday meals at home. Anything outside of soft and pampering is not in their plans
The Insider
It doesn’t matter if Wizkid has a free concert; they’d rather watch it from the comfort of their home. From January to December, nothing has changed in their routine: eat, sleep, and make New Year’s resolutions. If they tell you, “Let’s see how it goes” to an invite, move on.
The Weekender
December for them is soft; they’ve already known the events happening throughout the month and probably got one or two free tickets. And of course, they follow The Lagos Weekender for all the Detty December updates.
Whichever Lagosian you turn into this Detty December, just remember to have fun and stay safe. And if you’re trying to figure out where the real vibes are, don’t worry. We’re already there, so follow us and don’t miss anything.
