(So You Don’t Cry When You Get Home)
Lagos markets are a beautiful kind of chaos. They’ve got everything: fresh produce, vintage gold, the real plug for anything, but they also come with their own unspoken rules. Whether it’s your first time or your hundredth, these tips will help you navigate the madness with style and your wallet intact.
1. Personal Space? Yeah, Forget That.
This isn’t your “soft life” shopping mall. It’s rowdy on purpose. Be ready to squeeze, dodge, sidestep, and occasionally get shoulder-checked by someone carrying a 50kg sack like it’s a handbag. No vex—it’s part of the experience.
2. The First Price is Just Vibes
₦15k for that tote bag? Please. Lagos markets run on negotiation energy. Haggle like your grandma taught you. Walk away dramatically if needed. There’s always another vendor 2 stalls down with the same thing for less.
3. Keep Your Stuff Close—Like, Real Close
Markets are busy, loud, and full of movement, which makes them perfect for pickpockets. Sling that bag to the front. Zip up. Hold your phone like it’s your child. You came to shop, not to file a police report.
4. Ditch the Soft Life Aesthetic
You see that Cartier bracelet? Leave it at home. Lagos markets aren’t the place to serve Instagram looks or flash your lifestyle. You’ll either scare off the good deals or attract unnecessary attention. Bring out your inner agbero and blend in.
5. Too Much English = Luxury Tax
“Excuse me, how much is this, please?” = Instant inflation. The more polished your accent, the higher the price. If you must speak, throw in some Yoruba or Pidgin. Even a “how much last?” can save you ₦2k and unnecessary stress.
