In Lagos, being late isn’t just a bad habit; it’s a lifestyle. Nobody ever just says, ‘I’m sorry, I’m late.’ Nope! Instead, they roll out excuses so dramatic and detailed that you can’t help but believe them. Here are 7 common excuses that you’ve definitely heard or used—-yes, I’m judging you!
1. My Car Broke Down
Even people without cars have used this one. Somehow, their car decided to break down at the exact time they have an appointment.
“Half the time, the only thing broken is their planning”.
2. I’ve Been Looking For a Ride
Lagosians have used this excuse so many times because it works. There’s always a surge or drivers keep canceling “because the pick-up location is far.”
When in reality, the real ride was them deciding how to get out of bed and what to wear, while already 30 minutes late.
3. I Had an Emergency
If this isn’t the perfect excuse, I don’t know what is. It’s vague, urgent, and impossible to challenge. “Emergency” could mean hospital, stomach problems, or they didn’t like their outfit last minute.
“Lagos emergencies often can go from 0 to 100 in seconds”.
4. LASTMA/Police Stopped Me
The undefeated champ of excuses. Ofcourse, blame it on the police or LASTMA. Once they play this card, there’s no arguing, you just nod and sympathize.
“Lagos law enforcement officers are the most convenient scapegoats.”
5. I Think I’m Lost or the Driver Took a Wrong Turn
Despite living here their whole life, a Lagosian will suddenly discover they are “lost” the day they don’t feel like showing up. Google Maps or conductors shouting “Oshodi, Oshodi!” are suddenly not enough, and despite all the “technologia”, wrong turns seem to be a common excuse.
“Lost” often just means “reluctant to ask for help.”
6. There Was Traffic (Especially on Third Mainland Bridge)
Timeless and untouchable. The Third Mainland Bridge is long enough to take the blame for anything, even if they are still at home in Surulere.
“Lagos roads have carried more lies than vehicles”.
7. I Had a Wardrobe Malfunction
When all other excuses fail, the clothes take the blame. Zippers unexpectedly spoil, buttons suddenly disappear, geles can’t stay in place, and it’s always at the worst time.
“Most times, their real problem is lack of time management.”.
Lagosians don’t just show up late; they make a whole story out of it. One minute, it’s traffic that nobody else saw, the next, it’s a last-minute outfit drama. The reality? Everyone’s watch here is set to African Time, and nobody’s in a hurry to change it.
