Lagos is a city with its own vibe, and if you’re not moving to the beat, everyone can tell. Tourists stand out in this city faster than someone asking for directions to “Lekki Phase 2.” Whether they’re fresh off a plane or just new to the chaos, here are seven ways to know that someone’s not from around here:
- They Pull Out Their Phones Everywhere
A tourist in Lagos takes pictures of everything: street signs, plantain sellers, traffic jams, and even their Uber driver. Meanwhile, Lagosians know that not every location is “content safe.” Some places? Just keep it moving.
- They Keep Saying, “Oh my God, traffic is so bad!”
We know. We’ve been here. We stopped being shocked a long time ago. Lagosians treat traffic like weather; it’s inevitable and not worth talking about.
- They Still Call It “Victoria Island”
The only people saying “Victoria Island” in full are tourists and official documents. For everyone else, it’s V.I. short, sharp, and stylish. Anything else automatically exposes your passport.
- They Greet Everyone!
“Hi! Good afternoon! How are you?” they’ll sing, smiling at strangers. Lagosians don’t do unnecessary small talk. It’s every man for himself out here. You conserve energy for survival, not pleasantries.
- They Ask for ‘Local Food’ and Still Order Jollof Rice
Tourists always say, “I want to try authentic Nigerian food,” then panic at the sight of amala or goat meat pepper soup. Five minutes later, they’re ordering jollof rice and grilled chicken. We love the enthusiasm, though — it’s giving effort.
- They Dress for the Weather, Not the Plans
Tourists will show up to a Lagos brunch in flip-flops and shorts, thinking they’re heading to a chill brunch—adorable, but risky. Lagos brunch has an afterparty, and the afterparty has an after-afterparty.
- They Don’t Negotiate at All
This one shows at any market they find themselves in. A tourist says, “₦15,000? That’s fine!” and the vendor grins like he just won the lottery. Lagosians know: no matter the price, divide it in half and start from there.
Lagos isn’t the kind of place you blend into overnight. You earn your place here through danfo rides, price negotiations, and fashionably late arrivals. But once you learn the unspoken rules, you’ll stop being the tourist everyone can spot and start becoming the Lagosian everyone respects.
